I'm not sure what it is about the bathroom that brings me so much fascination and annoyance on a daily basis, but it is just one more place that is plotting against me all day. Filthiness aside, what is the deal with the automatic everything in the bathrooms? This wouldn't be such an issue if any of it worked properly. The automatic flusher for example. I think that the purpose is for water conservation. However, the toilet flushes about 3 times while you are hovering over the seat giving you a bidet-style ass splashing. But then when you are actually done, it won't flush. Then you have to figure out how to manually flush it and it is somehow never enough water to get the paper and seat cover down. So, two manual flushes are required. Now we are up to 5 flushes for something that is supposed to save water. Genius.
Then we have the automatic soap dispenser. Another good thought so you don't have to touch anything with your hands, but it never quite works. You need to walk to every single one in the row to find one that dispenses soap. You move to the sink with the automatic water sensor, which I assume is also for water conservation. This works fantastically well for water conservation because you can never get them to turn on. You stand in front of the sink moving, waving your hands in front of the sensor. Nothing. You look at the person next to you washing their hands, so what is wrong with you? Am I invisible or something? I'll try the next sink. Nothing. I'll wait until this person who clearly has a functioning sink is done and try theirs. Nothing. Let's go back to the first sink. This will continue until I can successfully wash my hands or just go ahead and slam my head against the wall.
I try to remind myself at moments like these that I should be thankful that I have clean, accessible water to wash my hands with at all. But, this feeling quickly fades and I bitch some more.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Getting soft
So, yesterday I spent the day at a conference of sorts in DC. This conference attendance is bittersweet. On one hand, I get to be out of my office with my husband (who was also in attendance), which makes me ecstatically happy. On the other hand, I have to listen to people talk about things that I don't care about, so that I can become more aware of "current best practices" for a career that I'm not interested in. This makes me depressed because it is taking my life and coloring it with a giant pink hilighter...you need a new career! I'm stuck for the time being doing something I hate. The day was one full of conflicting emotions.
When I first moved to the DC metro area, I lived on the metro line and worked in DC. I had this happy existence where I walked to the metro, rode downtown reading my paper and then walked to my office. I quickly fell into that zone that was so foreign when I first moved here. The one where people around you become invisible and the only focus is the path from point A to B as quickly as possible. I never drove anywhere. Then I changed companies to a location where there is not a metro. The place is in the giant cluster fuck known as Tyson's corner. So now, I learned the wonderful charms of 495 and began to understand the colossal waste of time that is the DC area commute. At least on the metro, you could get some work done, read a book, listen to your ipod and make some productive use of your time. Instead now you just sit. For. Hours. Hours upon hours each week that you will never get back. Ever. Time away from loved ones or hobbies or anything else that might actually be enjoyable.
Anyway, now we live in the truest definition of the suburbs. While it is only around 15 miles from DC, it might as well be one million. People act like they need a weekend off to come visit and we don't go to DC unless something of major importance is happening. Although I still spend plenty of time in traffic, it is a better commute than my prior location. But, I often talk about how much I miss the metro commute. I joke about how it makes you tougher. A survivor.
Yesterday, I was so excited to drive 45 minutes in traffic to park at the metro, so I could ride into DC. I could read the express and walk in flip flops and have my heels in my bag. Listen to my ipod. Be downtown and people watch. All good things. But, what I learned is that I've been weakened by my air-conditioned world of car-parking garage-office cycle. My eyes were once again opened by homeless people that used to be invisible. I heard that 3 people were shot at 1:00 in the afternoon at a metro stop yesterday. The old me would not have been phased by that information. Now, I was consumed by the what ifs. What if that had happened in Chinatown where I was? It could just as easily have happened there.
I guess I'm getting soft.
When I first moved to the DC metro area, I lived on the metro line and worked in DC. I had this happy existence where I walked to the metro, rode downtown reading my paper and then walked to my office. I quickly fell into that zone that was so foreign when I first moved here. The one where people around you become invisible and the only focus is the path from point A to B as quickly as possible. I never drove anywhere. Then I changed companies to a location where there is not a metro. The place is in the giant cluster fuck known as Tyson's corner. So now, I learned the wonderful charms of 495 and began to understand the colossal waste of time that is the DC area commute. At least on the metro, you could get some work done, read a book, listen to your ipod and make some productive use of your time. Instead now you just sit. For. Hours. Hours upon hours each week that you will never get back. Ever. Time away from loved ones or hobbies or anything else that might actually be enjoyable.
Anyway, now we live in the truest definition of the suburbs. While it is only around 15 miles from DC, it might as well be one million. People act like they need a weekend off to come visit and we don't go to DC unless something of major importance is happening. Although I still spend plenty of time in traffic, it is a better commute than my prior location. But, I often talk about how much I miss the metro commute. I joke about how it makes you tougher. A survivor.
Yesterday, I was so excited to drive 45 minutes in traffic to park at the metro, so I could ride into DC. I could read the express and walk in flip flops and have my heels in my bag. Listen to my ipod. Be downtown and people watch. All good things. But, what I learned is that I've been weakened by my air-conditioned world of car-parking garage-office cycle. My eyes were once again opened by homeless people that used to be invisible. I heard that 3 people were shot at 1:00 in the afternoon at a metro stop yesterday. The old me would not have been phased by that information. Now, I was consumed by the what ifs. What if that had happened in Chinatown where I was? It could just as easily have happened there.
I guess I'm getting soft.
Door Holding
This should seem like something that would be a nicety in your daily grind, however, it is no shock that this is another source of annoyance in my day.
I really think that it is fine and polite to hold the door for someone. I do this anytime someone is coming behind me. However, I really think there should be a standard for the distance that someone is away from you before this is necessary. 3 feet maybe? My point is, that if I am 15 or more feet away from the door, then please just keep walking. Otherwise, I then feel compelled to change my pace to "hurry up" so that you are not standing there regretting that you had tried to be nice by holding the door for me. Really, I do not need to get into this building any faster than necessary. I would like to walk on autopilot in my half-awake state for as long as possible. I don't need people screwing that up with their niceness. I'll even wave and say "oh no, thank you, that's ok, you go ahead" and basically have to shout it because I'm still that far away. But, the individual says "oh no, that's ok."
So, then I have to hurry so they won't be as put out. Has anyone considered that when we think we are doing something to be helpful, we are actually just one more nuissance in a day already chalk full?
I really think that it is fine and polite to hold the door for someone. I do this anytime someone is coming behind me. However, I really think there should be a standard for the distance that someone is away from you before this is necessary. 3 feet maybe? My point is, that if I am 15 or more feet away from the door, then please just keep walking. Otherwise, I then feel compelled to change my pace to "hurry up" so that you are not standing there regretting that you had tried to be nice by holding the door for me. Really, I do not need to get into this building any faster than necessary. I would like to walk on autopilot in my half-awake state for as long as possible. I don't need people screwing that up with their niceness. I'll even wave and say "oh no, thank you, that's ok, you go ahead" and basically have to shout it because I'm still that far away. But, the individual says "oh no, that's ok."
So, then I have to hurry so they won't be as put out. Has anyone considered that when we think we are doing something to be helpful, we are actually just one more nuissance in a day already chalk full?
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Is it so much to ask...
What is so hard about being an admin?
Is there something so wildly confusing and complicated about ordering office supplies that I am just misinformed? Let's see, I have this cabinet full of supplies... I have X number of people that need supplies... I've been an admin on this floor for this particular team for about 6 years... The amount of supplies has dwindled over the course of several months until it is nearly empty. So, I wonder if there isn't some sort of way I would know how often to order supplies and how many supplies to order??? It isn't like the dumb bitch has to pay for them out of her own pocket. She can probably set up a recurring quarterly order and not even worry about it ever again. But, I guess that would make too much sense. It is better to just leave 100 people with no supplies or printers that actually work or if they do work, then there is no paper to be found. No one would bother asking you about it because you are such a bitch that everyone is afraid of you. Maybe that is your plan.
I wonder how many times I have walked to the supply cabinet over the past 4 months to see that nothing new has appeared? I wonder how many more times I will walk to the cabinet before pens and folders are replenished? I wonder why I even give a shit? I could easily provide my own pens, but why should I?
Why can't people just do their jobs? The world would be a better place.
Is there something so wildly confusing and complicated about ordering office supplies that I am just misinformed? Let's see, I have this cabinet full of supplies... I have X number of people that need supplies... I've been an admin on this floor for this particular team for about 6 years... The amount of supplies has dwindled over the course of several months until it is nearly empty. So, I wonder if there isn't some sort of way I would know how often to order supplies and how many supplies to order??? It isn't like the dumb bitch has to pay for them out of her own pocket. She can probably set up a recurring quarterly order and not even worry about it ever again. But, I guess that would make too much sense. It is better to just leave 100 people with no supplies or printers that actually work or if they do work, then there is no paper to be found. No one would bother asking you about it because you are such a bitch that everyone is afraid of you. Maybe that is your plan.
I wonder how many times I have walked to the supply cabinet over the past 4 months to see that nothing new has appeared? I wonder how many more times I will walk to the cabinet before pens and folders are replenished? I wonder why I even give a shit? I could easily provide my own pens, but why should I?
Why can't people just do their jobs? The world would be a better place.
Birthdays
So last night I was talking to a friend and mentioned that another friend we have in common is having a birthday tomorrow. So she says "oh really, so and so's birthday is June 19th." Why is this weird habit engrained in everyone's brain. I'm guilty of this myself. Any time that someone is discussing birth dates, the person they are telling is compelled to say who they know with the same birth date or any other birthday that month. How did this happen in our evolution and why don't we have control over it? Can anyone explain this to me?
Yeah, my birthday is tomorrow.
No way! My sister's birthday is Friday.
So weird.
Yeah, my birthday is tomorrow.
No way! My sister's birthday is Friday.
So weird.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Life-sucking Dwell
This is how I feel about my company/current career. It is a life sucking dwell.
Here is my day:
Here is my day:
- I wake up around 5-5:30 and physically force myself to get out of bed
- take a shower
- put on suits that I hate to wear
- get in my car, which lacks any sort of balance between sport and comfort
- sit in traffic
- park
- walk into a building that I hate going to
- sit in my office all day staring at my computer screen and spend the entire day doing work that is so unbelievably pointless that I can't even believe it is a career
- sit in traffic some more
- go to the gym (if I go), which I also hate
- go home
- cook dinner
- clean up
- do more work that I hate
- go to bed
- repeat
This is my life. While I have left out some of the things that actually make me happy, like seeing my husband, in a nutshell, that is my existence. I'm sure it is not unlike many other people's lives in this area. I don't think that I'm so unique or interesting, however, it just makes me wonder why it is that people are willing to continue to be miserable and do this until they retire or die.
Why do we feel like we have to kill ourselves 90% of the time, so that we can spend 10% of our time doing something we actually enjoy?
This cannot possibly be all there is to life.
Bathrooms at Work
So, I work in a "professional" setting. The sterotypical corporate environment. However, for some reason when you go into the bathrooms, it is straight up bar.
As the day progresses, they get progressively more disgusting. I drink a few liters of water a day, so I use the restroom frequently. I typically start at the first stall and have to move through them for the rest of the day to find one that is tolerable. Tolerable means that I will put down the seat cover and still hover over that because of my toilet issues in general. I don't sit on toilets that I did not clean. Not even my moms.
Anyway, by mid-morning, most of the stalls are disgusting. I mean, pee on the seats and floor. Unflushed exploding ass syndrome daily in stall two. Tampons floating. I've seen blood on the seats. You get the idea. They are horrifying. The thing that is so ridiculous, is that this is a floor full of seemingly intelligent women. I'm assuming they don't treat their bathrooms at home in this manner. Maybe they do, I don't know. Anyway, it is so gross.
The thing that bothers me the most is the unbelievable amount of pubic hair on the seats. I am so disturbed by this. What is with the 70s style jungle bush?? I know that we are all extremely busy, however, that length is just uncalled for. I just can't wrap my mind around it.
As the day progresses, they get progressively more disgusting. I drink a few liters of water a day, so I use the restroom frequently. I typically start at the first stall and have to move through them for the rest of the day to find one that is tolerable. Tolerable means that I will put down the seat cover and still hover over that because of my toilet issues in general. I don't sit on toilets that I did not clean. Not even my moms.
Anyway, by mid-morning, most of the stalls are disgusting. I mean, pee on the seats and floor. Unflushed exploding ass syndrome daily in stall two. Tampons floating. I've seen blood on the seats. You get the idea. They are horrifying. The thing that is so ridiculous, is that this is a floor full of seemingly intelligent women. I'm assuming they don't treat their bathrooms at home in this manner. Maybe they do, I don't know. Anyway, it is so gross.
The thing that bothers me the most is the unbelievable amount of pubic hair on the seats. I am so disturbed by this. What is with the 70s style jungle bush?? I know that we are all extremely busy, however, that length is just uncalled for. I just can't wrap my mind around it.
Update: I have included a photograph. This is stall 4. It has looked like this for three days straight. You can't tell me that the person who did this did not know they did it. I'm also sure that they've returned back to see that their business is still there. Also, what is up with the people who clean? How about flush and clean the toilet? Someone has obviously raised the seat. No idea why.
Allergy Doctor
So, I go into my allergy doctor to get my shots, which I do every week. I have been doing this since I was about 8, so this is pretty routine. I typically stop there on my way home from the office, where I am required to wear a suit. I have been wearing a suit pretty much every week for the entire time that I've been a patient in their office. However, on this particular week, the nurses decide to comment. The same nurse is always there, I will refer to her as "nice nurse". Then there is another nurse each week, which is a rotation of two or three different nurses. I dislike two of them. The nurse that was there on this particular day with nice nurse, I'll refer to as "fat nurse."
So, I go into the office and sign in. That particular day, I had had yet another miserable day at the office. It was near 100 degrees again that day, so it is no shock that I was not in a pleasant mood. As I'm signing in, nice nurse says "is it hot out there" and I just look at her and say "uhh ya." So the conversation goes like this...
Fat Nurse: Why would you wear a dark suit on a hot day like this?
Me: (Thinking) Yeah, I woke up this morning and thought, man what can I do to make my day even more miserable than it already is?? Hmmm....I know, I'll wear a dark brown suit when it is 100 degrees. I LOVE wearing suits. Suits are awesome! I wish I could wear suits to bed and on the weekends too.
(Saying in annoying tone) Well if I had my choice I wouldn't be wearing a suit at all.
Fat Nurse: Well, you could at least wear a spring or summer suit, you don't have to wear a dark one.
Me: Well, if I really gave a shit about my job or how I looked at it, I might care about spending even more money on more suits to have more seasonal options.
Fat Nurse: It isn't about caring about your job, you should care more about yourself than that.
Me: (Thinking) Yes, because wearing a suit to a job I hate is the same thing as not caring about myself. Are you sure you aren't a therapist?)
(Saying) Well, I sit in a freezing cold room by myself and stare at a computer screen for 12 hours a day. I don't think the computer cares what color suit I'm wearing. Why would I want to waste a couple hundred dollars for something I can't stand when I could use that money for something else I might actually enjoy?
Fat Nurse: Sounds like you need to get a new job.
Me: (Thinking) WOW, I never thought of that! You are a fucking genius!
(Saying) Well, there is this whole thing where you have a decent salary, you want to keep making one. So, you become a sell out so you can pay for your ridiculous 3300/month payment for a freaking townhouse that has lost 50K in value since you bought it. So I guess you just figure it is a means to an end and suck it up until you are motivated to do something else.
Fat Nurse: At this point she seems to be sensing that I might slap her.... Well, maybe you can go back to school to do something else.
Me: Well, since I already have a degree and two differen't master's degrees, I don't think I'm doing that anytime soon and I'm on career change #5. So, maybe I just need to revisit this whole "work" thing in general and until then I'm going to keep wearing my shitty standard dark suit corporate whorewear and head to my job that I hate every day so that I can pay my bills.
Fat Nurse: Changes subject and starts talking to nice nurse.
I think when I go back to get my shot next week, I'm going to put on a turtleneck under a black suit to wear in.
So, I go into the office and sign in. That particular day, I had had yet another miserable day at the office. It was near 100 degrees again that day, so it is no shock that I was not in a pleasant mood. As I'm signing in, nice nurse says "is it hot out there" and I just look at her and say "uhh ya." So the conversation goes like this...
Fat Nurse: Why would you wear a dark suit on a hot day like this?
Me: (Thinking) Yeah, I woke up this morning and thought, man what can I do to make my day even more miserable than it already is?? Hmmm....I know, I'll wear a dark brown suit when it is 100 degrees. I LOVE wearing suits. Suits are awesome! I wish I could wear suits to bed and on the weekends too.
(Saying in annoying tone) Well if I had my choice I wouldn't be wearing a suit at all.
Fat Nurse: Well, you could at least wear a spring or summer suit, you don't have to wear a dark one.
Me: Well, if I really gave a shit about my job or how I looked at it, I might care about spending even more money on more suits to have more seasonal options.
Fat Nurse: It isn't about caring about your job, you should care more about yourself than that.
Me: (Thinking) Yes, because wearing a suit to a job I hate is the same thing as not caring about myself. Are you sure you aren't a therapist?)
(Saying) Well, I sit in a freezing cold room by myself and stare at a computer screen for 12 hours a day. I don't think the computer cares what color suit I'm wearing. Why would I want to waste a couple hundred dollars for something I can't stand when I could use that money for something else I might actually enjoy?
Fat Nurse: Sounds like you need to get a new job.
Me: (Thinking) WOW, I never thought of that! You are a fucking genius!
(Saying) Well, there is this whole thing where you have a decent salary, you want to keep making one. So, you become a sell out so you can pay for your ridiculous 3300/month payment for a freaking townhouse that has lost 50K in value since you bought it. So I guess you just figure it is a means to an end and suck it up until you are motivated to do something else.
Fat Nurse: At this point she seems to be sensing that I might slap her.... Well, maybe you can go back to school to do something else.
Me: Well, since I already have a degree and two differen't master's degrees, I don't think I'm doing that anytime soon and I'm on career change #5. So, maybe I just need to revisit this whole "work" thing in general and until then I'm going to keep wearing my shitty standard dark suit corporate whorewear and head to my job that I hate every day so that I can pay my bills.
Fat Nurse: Changes subject and starts talking to nice nurse.
I think when I go back to get my shot next week, I'm going to put on a turtleneck under a black suit to wear in.
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