Kitten Nazis

Seinfeld should have done a show on Kitten Nazis. You would think that adopting a kitten would be a simple enough thing, right? Wrong. I'm not sure where or how one would buy crack, but I'm positive that I could've gotten some faster than we have been able to adopt a kitten.

First of all, these animals have been taken from the high kill shelters by the rescue organizations. They advertise that they are overflowing with kittens and need help. Seems simple enough. We can provide a good home, they have kittens that need homes. However, if you look into the adoption process, you will be shocked at the level of scrutiny that they put into placing these animals that would have been otherwise euthanized. Not only are most of the applications 4 or 5 pages long, but they do things like phone interviews, then a face to face interview and then a home visit. They ask for income information. However, if you work, they don't want to adopt to you. Where would the income be coming from then if I didn't work???If you own your home, they want to see your deed (WTF??). If you have an HOA, they want to see the HOA documents. I've never even seen my HOA documents, what makes them think they need to see them.

Then, if you get by all of this BS, then they inform you that they will not adopt a single kitten. You must take 2 unless you have another cat in the house under 6 months old. If you protest, they email or give you a packet of information that basically tells you that you are the root of all evil because you ever considered getting a single kitten. You will make them depressed and suicidal, aggressive and destroy your home. Forget about the fact that all of the cats you have ever had were raised as a single kitten and everyone else in your family's was as well. You must be lying about them all being well adjusted. In actuality, you came home one day and your kitten had stabbed itself in the chest because it just couldn't take it anymore without another member of the litter. I guess the part where the cat you currently have hating the new kitten is not important to them.

So for the 3rd weekend in a row we have gone to the pet adoption fairs in NOVA and still don't have a kitten. We went to one in Falls Church this past weekend and I had asked all of the questions that I needed to prior to driving all the way there to rule out the Kitten Nazis and found one that did same day pet adoptions. However, once again we are told No kitten for you! Right at that exact same time, these two dipshit college looking girls were walking out with one. They reeked of smoke and were pounding Red Bull. Yeah, these people are just the type to provide a stable, healthy environment for pets. The cat will have lung cancer and then get dumped off when they move to another apartment and can't have a pet. That would be much better for the animal.

What the fuck is wrong with society?

I have discovered what the most annoying sound in the world is

I worked from home today to waste my day waiting on the 4th visit from the washing machine repair guy. This allowed me the great opportunity to catch up on random TV and watch the daytime talk shows. On the Rachel Ray show today was Bindi Irwin, daughter of Steve Irwin. Rachel Ray has one of the most annoying speaking styles on television. Combine that with Bindi and her obnoxious, forced enthusiasm and your ears may bleed. Each segment was just watching them yell louder and louder over each other and flapping their arms. I wanted to turn it off, but I just couldn't stop watching. I can't wait until Bindi hits her drug phase like all other child stars. It might calm her ass down.

Thank you, WVU

Thank you so much for completely ruining the one thing that I was actually looking forward to this fall. You guys fucking suck. I'm trying to be more positive so I guess I should be thankful that you guys scored more than 3 points.

I'm not sure how much more I can hate computers

How many hard drives can you have crash before your company gives you a new fucking computer? Well I can tell you how many it isn't... THREE! How is it possible to be on the 3rd hard drive within 6 weeks and no one will give you a new computer? I'll tell you how it is possible. It is possible because we don't even have office supplies, why would anyone buy me a new laptop? Yeah this is one of the TOP COMPANIES TO WORK FOR!!

I wish I had kept a freaking log of just how many hours I have wasted on the phone or in the offices of the Help Desk since becoming employed here. Then I could multiply that by my bill rate and put it in a fucking report and show my senior management what a colossal waste of my fucking life, their resources and loss of profits that this piece of shit laptop causes!!

I want to work for Maytag

So I only do laundry maybe every 3rd weekend. Laundry is not enjoyable so I figure why not just ruin one solid day instead of breaking up the displeasure each week. I decided to do laundry one weekend after not having done any for about a month. I turn on the washing machine on "cold/cold" and nothing but scalding hot water comes out. Hmmmm.... Do I just risk shrinking the clothes or wait? I call Maytag since of course we pay for the extended warranty. They get me a really quick service appointment for 8 days later. Then they show up during their 8-4 window and say that a part needs to be ordered. Since I explained exactly what was wrong on the phone, don't you think that the part could have already been ordered prior to your arriving. How many things could cause boiling water to come out of your machine? Much to my joy, the part has to be ordered and shipped to the house (they guarantee this to occur within 14 business days - how freaking convenient). When the part arrives, I'm instructed to call them again and make a service appointment. 9 days later I get the part and make the call and have an appointment for another week after that. The guy shows up, replaces the part and joy the washer is putting out cold water.

I put in a load of desperately needed things and wash about 3 loads before I'm getting burned by the water again. So I immediately call Maytag and say the guy left a couple of hours ago and he is probably still in the area. Can't they radio him and let him know that he needs to come back and order something else? No, of course not. So, I explain that if I have to wait for a 3rd service call that all they are going to do is say they need another part and then the whole process begins again. She says that there is no way to order a part without a service call as the driver. WTF.

So I wait around all day again yesterday for a guy to come and say another part needs to be ordered. But, I guess I need to look at the bright side where it will be on my doorstep guaranteed within 14 days. Awesome.

I just love how there are so many people that have you by the balls on a daily basis and there is not one thing you can do about it except sit around commando since you haven't been able to wash your underwear for 2 months.

We're going to go out to lunch...

Just the type of email that you love to get. A calendar invite from your boss telling you to block 2.5 hours out of your day for "lunch." Who wants to have lunch for that long with someone they can barely tolerate? Not me. I say, well I don't know if I really have time in my schedule to take that long due to a client commitment. How about an hour? He says, block the time out of your schedule. We are going. Goodie. So, I'm thinking that this meal better be on Company X because I do not want to pay for this enjoyable afternoon. (Company X doesn't spend money on anything as you can see if you check out our supply cabinet on an old post)

So guess where we go to lunch? Not Morton's or even the freaking Cheesecake Factory. No, we go to Olive Garden. Not that there's anything wrong with Olive Garden, Kendra. But, if I'm going to have to sit through this, I should at least get a decent meal out of it.

Much to my delight, lunch was 3.5 hours, not 2.5 hours. Yipee.

Great school is back in

Normally I would think it was a good thing to get your little brats back in school instead of running amuck in my neighborhood all day unattended. However, this all changes when I'm driving to work in the morning. I already leave at 6, so there really isn't a big chance that I'm going to get out of the house any sooner. Thankfully, there is even more traffic now and my nice 45 minutes to go 13 miles has now increased to an hour to an hour and fifteen minutes. Fantastic! Just another reason to dislike kids...

Haha ACC sucks

I love how the ACC is supposedly this awesome football conference. Real funny when the only team you have on the top 25 is freaking Wake Forest! ACC sucks!


Update: WVU, YOU SUCK!!!

Reply to All

Stop fucking replying to all. No one thinks your opinion matters so much that the entire email group wants to see your opinion. What I have to say is soooo informed, interesting and important that I bet every person (hundreds, thousands) on this group wants to see what I have to say too! I can't take it anymore.

Yes, I was right I don't like you

Here at Company X, we have alot of corporate douchebag types. You get pretty used to them after awhile, but you don't start to like them. There is someone in Senior Management that I don't like. No one on their team likes them and they have alot of turnover. One of the joys of my life is that they have alot of people on their team that ping me for questions all week long. Instead of just compiling a bunch of issues at once and letting me go through, I get 10 or so emails a day that are "high priority" and need an immediate answer. So, when these folks get answers they don't like, they keep escalating it. So an entire month rolls by and the Senior Manager now needs me to clarify a few things that have been escalated. I get a call in the evening hours, which I of course do not answer. Then another call at 7 am regarding a meeting that I do not know about at 8 am.

Senior Manager: Hi, I just want to touch base with you prior to the meeting to make sure we are on the same page....

Me: I'm not aware of the meeting you are referring to.

Senior Manager in annoyed tone: Uhhhh the meeting about such and such about such and such for the item that is due on Monday that takes weeks to complete

Me: Sorry I must not have been included in any of those communications.

Senior Manager: Well, my entire team has been working on this stuff for an entire month and we need x, y, z from you

Me: That is why I answered x, y, and z all month long in various email chains and made sure to cc you on every communication so that you were aware that there were major flaws with the direction you were taking on this project

Senior Manager: Well, that is why I need to make sure we are on the same page before this meeting

Me: I don't see what the same page is when we have a fundamental difference of opinion of the situation and how to approach it

Senior Manager: I don't think you understand my perspective

Me: I completely understand your perspective and there are major reasons why the perspective is incorrect, which I pointed out and documented numerous times this month

Senior Manager: Yes, because you are not seeing my point of view

Me: Just because I don't agree with you doesn't mean I'm confused, it means that I don't agree

Senior Manager: We need to be a united front when we speak to the client

Me: I think we probably need to involve the folks from legal due to the conflict of interest with our competing organizations with this client

Senior Manager: OK well I'll just be on the call at 8. Thanks.

I hate this place. Just because we don't agree doesn't make someone wrong.

So you're an Independent????

Anyone who says this is an idiot in my opinion. Well, not says this, but votes this way. No matter who you are hoping wins the election this November, I can tell you who will not win. An independent. Don't start getting all I have the right to vote and I can vote for whomever I choose. It is my right. Blah blah blah. All that may be true, but the fact of the matter is that no one is going to win the election other than one of the two major tickets. So, by not voting for one of them or the other, you are actually creating more stupidity for this nation. By standing your ground and voting for the independent or the even more ridiculous write-in, you are actually in essence not deciding. So you might as well just pick which of the two candidates most closely matches things that are important to you and suck it up and vote for them. Otherwise, you are just taking votes away from someone who actually has a shot at becoming president.

Stop calling into CSPAN radio every morning and making me hate you on my way to work. Yes, I listen to CSPAN radio on my way to work because I'm old and a loser.

If you would like to educate yourself with some non-partisan information, here are two sites to waste time on while you are at your shitty desk job... http://politifact.com/truth-o-meter/ and http://factcheck.org/ .