United SUCKS

We booked a flight to go visit some family. We had gotten a good deal, which is why we decided to go. Our flight was at about 8 in the morning and we were set to arrive to our destination by 9:15. We head to the airport at about 6:15 in the morning and all things are looking good. We check in. Security line wasn't too bad other than some racist hick behind us in line talking about racial profiling. We head to our gate and the flight departures screen says we are "on time." Joy. While sitting there waiting to board, the woman at the gate starts making announcements that the flight is oversold and anyone with seats can volunteer to give up their seat for a free flight. We decide not to take it. Then the time has passed to start boarding and she tells us that there are mechanical issues and the flight will be delayed for 15 minutes or so. 15 minutes later she tells us that the issue is with the pilot's chair being broken and we'll just be delayed for a little while longer. This continues for a couple of hours then they tell us that the flight is cancelled. Yay. They tell us to go to customer service to find another flight. Of course everyone mobs customer service and when we finally get to someone, we are informed that all of the other flights are booked also. We will no longer be able to get a direct flight and now we will have to route through Philly and won't arrive until 6:30 pm. Well this sucks, but whatever. So we go rush to the gate for this next flight, which is of course a shuttle ride and the polar opposite of where we are currently standing. The fantastic news is that our bags will be going on the next flight and be sitting at the airport in Albany until we arrive.

We finally get to our next gate and are told that this flight is too oversold and while we have been "confirmed" for this flight, we do not have a seat assignment. This means that people will have to sell their seats in order for us to get on. The woman at the gate tells us that she has no idea why we were even put on this flight because there are flights out of Reagan which are direct flights and get us there earlier than this flight. So she tells us if we want one of those flights, we can get a taxi voucher and a free flight voucher. We say sure. The catch is that we have to wait until this flight is closed for her to do it. So we wait. We wait with 4 people from Spain that do not speak English and do not understand why they weren't allowed on the plane and are screaming at this woman while she is trying to make our arrangements. We kept trying to find someone to help these poor people and I do not know enough Spanish to explain oversold flights and re-routing. I never thought I would see the day when you couldn't find a Spanish speaking person in DC.

The flight attendant finally gets everything done and it takes her over an hour. We race to the complete other side of the airport to get a taxi and head from Dulles to Reagan. We arrive and go to check in and are told that the 3:12 flight is fully booked and we are not booked on that flight. We are booked on the 9:20pm flight. Awesome! So now we were 10 minutes from our house before and could've just gone home, but now we are down in DC and there is no way we are going to leave and come back. Now we get to spend 6 fabulous hours in the airport. We head to a restaurant. Get some cocktails. Buy my husband a sweater because he is freezing. Buy a phone charger because ours were checked and now we have no way to communicate with the people that are waiting to pick us up at the airport. Buy toothbrushes and toothpaste. Buy a book for entertainment. Buy new headphones for my ipod. I think we've spent a good couple hundred dollars and haven't even left the airport yet.

The time finally arrives for our 9:20 flight. We are actually boarding!! We call our rides and tell them. We get on the plane. The plane starts moving. I'm delighted. They come on and tell us they haven't been cleared for take off. We wait. We wait some more. We wait in the plane for an hour and a fucking half! By the time we actually arrive at our destination, it is after midnight. Then our bags are of course locked in the United room where no United workers are. The number on the door of course calls to India and we cannot find anyone who works for the airport anywhere. We are walking around trying to find anyone who can help. About 45 minutes later, someone finally lets us in. We have an hour and a half drive to get to the place we are staying. We finally get there at about 2 am.

20 hours for an hour and 15 minute flight. This kind of shit only happens in my life. The great news is we have a free flight for United and get to do this all over again sometime in the next year.

Update: My horoscope the day before we left...
If you have any upcoming travel plans, make sure that you have all the details finalized, today. Confirm dates and locations, double check routes and travel times. There could be a change that causes you to rethink one aspect of your trip. You can't take anything for granted.

I shall start planning my entire life around my daily horoscope.