You really haven't lived until you....

wake up with your cute kitten climbing all over you in bed and notice that her feet and tail are covered in diarrhea

or

tried to get a clean urine sample from your kitten


Who says we don't have a kid???

I'm a CISSP!!

Well, apparently anyone who gives up their life for 4 or 5 months to study can become a Certified Information System Security Professional. I studied my ass off, so I'm glad I passed. However, I still have no idea how I did it. I have no idea what was on the test, what it was asking and had no time to go back to the questions I had no idea on. By some miracle, I have passed. I better get a raise. I hope no one has any new extremely unrealistic expectations of my capabilities thanks to these 5 letters!

Truly Awesome

This may be one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen. I love it.

http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

Being in Maui is better than being in DC

Here are a couple of reasons why:


1) being at work sucks


2) being on vacation rules

I hate your child

Why again do I have to explain to parents that you are not doing your brat any favors by letting them think that they can just do whatever they want and this is helping them in the future? On one of our legs from Maui, there was a toddler type of kid on the plane a couple of rows behind us. Maybe 2 or 3 years old. At some point his parents went to sleep and the kid got up and did whatever he wanted. He had a fantastic flight. He ran up and down the aisles. Ran into people. Blocked aisles. Ran in between the middle section of seats over people to run up and down the aisle on the other side. He drove his truck on the walls and on people's armrests. I mean I guess it is better than him screaming the entire time, but seriously who does this shit. I'd say this carried on for 2-3 hours out of the 5 hour flight. Super-fun, right?

Flight Attendants Have Envious Amounts of Power

So, we were about to endure our 1st flying experience since our MA debacle. We were flying to San Fran and on to Maui. Since I am a horrible flyer, I was not looking forward to being on a plane for 11 hours. Since we had such an awful experience last time around, I wasn't going to get happy about departing until we were actually in the air.

I guess we were a little longer than usual waiting to depart. The flight attendant gets on the intercom and says she is sorry for the delay, but once a situation with a passenger is resolved we will be leaving. I'm sure like anyone else, I'm immediately interested and looking around. I notice that the "issue" is only 2 rows back from where we are sitting. So, I'm thinking what could be so bad that we didn't even hear anything? Here come the TSA folks and security. 3 men surrounding this old, foreign lady. They were very polite and calm in their attempts to get her off the plane. But, she had absolutely no idea why she was being asked to leave. She kept saying, but why? They kept saying just come with us and we'll explain everything once you are off of the plane. They said they would put her on another flight. She just kept saying I don't understand. Why are you doing this? I too wanted to know. Finally one says that she was rude to the flight attendant. The woman ends up leaving without too much disruption and the flight leaves.

I'm fine with security and I guess there is a point where maybe that is a little unnecessary. But in actuality, I was just insanely jealous. Jealous of the power. I really think they need to call all children, babies, smelly and/or obese people a safety hazard for flying and get them all off too. Flight attendants can actually just have people thrown off a plane for nearly any reason now as long as it is under the guise of safety.

I wish I could do that in my daily life. Your stupidity is dangerous, you must leave my sight at once! This would really revolutionize my universe.