Another career field that requires zero intellect

Selling cars...When you set out to buy a car, you do your homework. You research online. You build what you want, price it out and find out the "invoice" price. Then you find a place that has the car you want and you keep looking until you find one that gives you the price you expect to pay. The sales folks really serve almost no purpose anymore other than handing you the keys for the test drive. They must sense that they are of almost no importance in your transaction/decision because they say the most idiotic things trying to determine what your trigger points are. They don't even bother to learn the features of the car they are trying to sell. They don't know how to use the features and you have to learn them on your own. If you are selling a car with voice activated navigation, then why don't you know what the commands are for it? They are so proud of their stupid key rings though and also be sure to give them 5s on the survey that comes in the mail so they don't get fired. Please do not buy a car from the Honda dealership in Tysons. My sales guy was not so bad, but the level of professionalism of that place is so low. Aside from it being the absolute longest time I have ever had to spend to complete a car purchase, people were not knowledgeable, two managers got into a big argument right in front of customers, the finance manager was a complete idiot - made a point of checking his personal email in front of me after I had been there for 5 hours, on top of everything they had given me the wrong VIN number, so I had to redo all of the paperwork again on another day and also had to get a new insurance policy. I don't know why I am surprised that people are so inadequate at their jobs. This is the norm these days.

This is our kitchen...We call it the Japan room!

So, much to our delight, we have to buy new kitchen cabinets. This is a line of work that I think everyone should get into. Mainly because there is zero rhyme or reason into pricing, no control to speak of, and a completely ignorant customer base! Seriously, why aren't more people doing this? Thanks to this unexpected $20K expense, we will no longer be going to Japan this spring. YAY!

It has been awhile

I have been trapped under something heavy. I have been studying for a certification that I don't think I want and I still have another month or so to go. My review class is now over, which is good and bad. On one hand, I don't have to sit in class on Monday and Wednesday nights. On the other hand, I don't have any structure keeping me on schedule for reading. Studying is ruining my life. I have devoted basically every bit of "free" time to studying since the end of September and I think I have maybe about a 25% chance of passing. Yippee! Another couple of months before I get what was life back.

Thank God Tomorrow is Election Day

I really don't think I can handle one more political ad or one more random stranger knocking on our door demanding to know who we are voting for and why. Even if I was somehow part of this insane population of people who are still "undecided," what makes you think that your annoying presence and the other 7 knocks at my door on a Sunday are going to change my mind?? If anything, it would make me hate the candidate you are supporting for allowing people like you to hassle me.

Here is a great quote about the "undecided" voter:

"I look at these people and can't quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention? To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. "Can I interest you in the chicken?" she asks. "Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it? To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."
- Author David Sedaris, on undecided voters


I am going to put a sign on the door today that says Do NOT knock on this door unless:
You are delivering a package that I have requested.
You are handing me money.
You are an invited guest.

If you do not meet the above criteria, you are hindering the chances of your chosen candidate winning.

Thank you and have a nice day!

Kitten Nazi Update

We took one of the Kitten Nazi's advice. She told us given our "situation" which basically made us unworthy of adopting a kitten that we should just forget about the rescue organizations and go to a shelter where they kill them anyway and they might not have the same standards.

So we went to Loudoun County animal shelter and found our kitty. The problem was that we had to wait for the kitty to weigh 2 pounds before we could adopt her. They will only adopt pets in VA that have been spayed or neutered and the doctors won't do that until they are 2lbs. So, we wait. Apparently it takes a long freaking time for a cat to gain a pound. But, we finally have our kitty at home. She is very cute and also a little shit. Based on our couple of weeks with her, we feel even more comfortable with our decision to not have kids.

Why yes, I would LOVE to get another cert...

Why is it that employers have this great way of getting you to do things that you have no interest in doing? More importantly, why is it that we allow this to happen? A few extra nickels come review time? So, I am currently attending a review course on Monday and Wednesday evenings from 6-9:30 (which never ends on time). I remember how I maintained this schedule just fine in graduate school, but somehow it is so much more difficult for me now. I guess I'm just old. Or perhaps it is because I actually was interested in my graduate degrees and not interested in being a CISSP.

If you could pick one certification that is not for me, it is this one. I should not be getting this certification. I am not a technical expert and I should not be pretending to be one. If by some stroke of luck, I actually pass this exam, it is further proof that certifications are a crock of shit. They mean nothing other than anyone that is willing to give up their life for 4 months can get this cert.

I spend basically every waking hour reading this awful book to prepare for this test and know just about 1% more than I did before I gave up what tiny amount of my life actually exists.

So, I ask again, why do we do this stuff to ourselves? Why would I kill myself for a certification that I do not even want that is only marketable in a career field that I already know I don't want to be in? I am clearly an idiot.

The land where everyone went to breed...

If you've been keeping up with this blog, you know how much I adore children! You also know that the community that we call home is the land where everyone went to breed. I've often talked about the level of tolerance required to get through each day thanks to your delightful children.

Well, something wonderful happened! Or so I thought. An actual bar opened up in suburbialand. A sports bar to be exact - complete with a former Redskin coach as an owner. I've been wanting to stop by for a few weeks since it opened and just haven't had the opportunity. This past Friday afternoon I thought would be a great day for some cocktails and I did not feel like cooking. So we head to the sports bar. It is about 7 pm and I'm expecting to see a happy hour leftover crowd. We go in and get a table. We see a family with about 3 kids sitting in the big booth beside us. I'm thinking wow that is weird, I don't think I'd be bringing my kids to a bar no matter how early it is. The parents are pounding beers and the kids are being so loud. Then another table comes in. A few more kids. Another. Then another. Baby seats, booster seats, high chairs???? WTF??? This is a damn sports bar. I begin counting the little bastards. Through the time that I had two drinks and an appetizer, there were EIGHTEEN FUCKING CHILDREN in a bar. The waiter was not very attentive to us because he was running back and forth filling fucking sippy cups the entire time. When he stopped by our table, I said we've never been here before, is it always like a damn day care in here?? He said pretty much. I said I guess paying customers are paying customers. He said oh yeah those kids meals really add up on the checks. I said I was expecting more of a happy hour crowd and he said not so much. I said what everyone picks up their brats from day care and thinks I know let's all head on over to the sports bar for dinner? He said yeah that is what it seems like. Oh and if that isn't bad enough, they put a baby changing station in the bathroom. You really should not put the word bar in the name of your establishment if it isn't in fact a bar.

So, it isn't bad enough that you and your fucking kids have ruined the bike trail, every single shopping experience that I have to endure, the post office, every other restaurant in the area, and the movies (even an R-rated movie at the latest showing). Now I can't even go to a fucking sports BAR to have a couple of drinks without it being day care??

Don't even bother giving me the song and dance where just because you made the decision to breed doesn't mean that you have to give up your life. That is precisely what having a child means. It means that life as you know it for the foreseeable future is done. If you want to pretend to have some normalcy, have date nights and swap nights with some friends who have made the decision to end their lives as they know it also.

Seriously, you are not doing your brat any favors by making them think they are entitled to take over everything. This is just not how the world works.